Random things you'd probably rather not know about me. Enjoy! Or at least pretend to...
1. I once spent $60 on making calls to Keanu Reeves to wish him a happy birthday via the back page instructions in Bop magazine.
2. I wish I were one of those girls that people looked at and said, “She’ll make a great mom.”
3. I still text and drive. Don’t hate me.
4. I feel so guilty with everything I put in my mouth that sometimes I wish I had the willpower to have an actual eating disorder. Lord knows I’ve tried.
5. I love the types that can quote every single line from Star Wars. I can quote every line from Speed, but they never seem as impressed with that.
6. I used to want boys before I married one. Now I want all girls. (I'm talking kids, just to be clear.)
7. From as far back as I can remember, I’ve always had a thing for older men. Daddy issues? Maybe. Speaking of, I wish mine would visit me. I miss him.
8. One time on our way to lunch, my ex and I were walking by a homeless shelter with a bunch of them outside, and in a moment of complete oblivious thoughtlessness, I exclaimed to him, “Holy crap, I’m staaaaarving”. I think they all wanted to kill me. Or eat me. I still feel bad about it.
9. My dream jobs would be to work on movie soundtracks or write for SNL. Or anything that would get me out of this dang 8 to 5.
10. I can’t get into the teen movies that paint all men to be insensitive beer-chugging, video-game playing, vocabulary-lacking, sex-crazed Neanderthals.
11. I saw someone get pushed to their near-death at a George Michael concert during Careless Whisper. Talk about never dancing again…
12. I talk about wanting a primordial dwarf so bad that I actually fear God may give me one, and then I’ll wish I never said anything.
13. I knocked out my two front teeth while break-dancing into a glass table when I was two.
14. I really do think I have the best taste in music. I'm a snob like that.
15. I hope I’m not too disappointed when I meet Jesus and he doesn’t look like Ted Neeley.
16. Going to Europe on my Beatles tour with a bunch of strangers gave me, hands down, the best 14 days of my entire life.
17. If I don’t call you back, it’s usually not personal. I just really suck at it.
18. I love my mom more than anything, but treat her horribly sometimes. Why is that?
19. Any redeeming qualities I have come from God’s mercy, my parents' love and my sisters’ wisdom. On that note, I truly believe I have the best sisters in the whole wide world.
20. When I was a kid, my mom and I would watch Lifetime movies, and I was convinced my boyfriends/husband(s) would rape and/or beat me.
21. I love making out almost as much as I love sleeping in and eating frozen yogurt.
22. I used to put my make-up on in the dark, so I didn’t have to look at my face.
23. If you look homeless but actually aren’t, you’re my type.
24. I miss my childlike faith. Apologetics hurts my head.
25. I killed my sister’s pet bunny when I was about five years old with my best friend, Travis. We played catch with it in my front yard, and suddenly, it just stopped hopping. We couldn’t catch it EVERY time.
Making out with my award before they realize they gave it to the wrong person... 
I swear, she doesn't look at the camera just to frustrate me. And it works...
Good times... 
At the tail end of my Funky Town turtle dance...
